Making IT great again! What I learnt from Donald J Trump
We’ve all heard of him, whether it’s from his TV show to his presidency (which, let’s be honest, came as a shock bigger than Nollsey’s 2003 Idol robbery).
After extensive research, I’ve created the “Trumpy Rules To Live By” guaranteed to help any CIO and their team communicate with the other departments:
- If a co-worker has a solution you don’t like, refer to it as fake IT. And as an added touch, type it in caps lock – that will make everyone will believe you. Cloud is obviously fake, so are all virtualisation technologies.
- Anyone who deletes emails should be considered “CROOKED”. The more emails deleted the more crooked. These people are FAKE NEWS and they’re ruining IT…
- Be very wary of the Head of Security. Have the position refilled regularly. Same goes for the Head of PR or Marketing.
- Conspire with Russians as much as possible and then blame it on your son. On that note, employ your family whenever possible and especially if they are not qualified (makes for an even better scapegoat).
- As well, for your safety, promise to deploy a great fireWALL around everything to increase security: The budget will be huge but you will ensure it is marketing/finance/sales who pay for it, not IT.
And the crowning glory (pun intended):
- In order to achieve all of the above you need one thing, and one thing only: THE HAIR. This needs to be unique – it needs to be your signature look. It needs to say “Yes, I know, I actually look like this, but I do what I want when I want”. Our top tips for achieving “the look” are to buy a toupee from someone that hates you or get a good combover cut – by a hairdresser that hates you.
If you want your IT to be great again, get in touch today!